I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
