after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
