This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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