Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
soo... how was my night?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
