Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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