Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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