3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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