I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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