Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
