you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
