mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
