I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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