You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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