Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i've created a new STD.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
