Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
