I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
