i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
