Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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