Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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