so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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