maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So much rum. So many feels.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
