yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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