yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
