I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
