I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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