This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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