sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
