Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you had me at cake vodka
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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