i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
