Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I have already put on my inside pants.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
