There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
