So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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