I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
