I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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