I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
