Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
