Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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