bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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