In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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