I'm jealous of your bromance
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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