I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
