I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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