I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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