i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
