make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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