In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
