why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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