I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i need some magic done to my vagina
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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