That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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