I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
