It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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